I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to take a break from school than I am now.

Sure growing up, I loved Thanksgiving, winter and summer breaks, but this is very different. I feel like I need this break coming up. I’m mentally exhausted and I feel like I need to leave this area for a little bit…I’ve been here since July. I need to see my family and friends again, and I just need to interact with people that aren’t just going to talk about school 24/7. Anatomy has worn me the hell out, and I still got this final CUMULATIVE exam that I have to take on Wednesday. Sheesh. I just took my fourth anatomy exam two days ago and I’m still recovering from that block of material…but they wanna slap us with this BS knowing damn well most of us are gonna be looking at this final like:

I mean come on. Like, I tried to start reviewing stuff that I learned back in August, but then my eyes started glazing over after five minutes and now here I am typing out my latest post. I don’t know how on earth I’m going to even start reviewing all of anatomy in the next two-and-a-half days. I’ll probably just do a good amount of review questions and call it a day. I’m convincing myself I know all the material I need to know for the final, I just have to find it in my head lol. Also, I’m just happy to have gotten thru my fourth test, meaning that there are no more lab dissections (😄) and NO MORE PRACTICALS!!! Speaking of my previous test, I think that I did alright on it, but I don’t know if I topped my third test. A lotta people were telling me that this test, which tested the upper and lower limbs, was going to be easier than the third test (head & neck). Nahhhhh. This was probably just as hard as the third test in my opinion, because there was just SO much information thrown at us at once. Also, it didn’t help that our weeks leading up to this test were packed with extra afternoon sessions, which didn’t give me as much time to study for this test as I had for the third one. But whatever, I did my best on this one like on the other ones and I hope it shows when I get my grade back this week.

You know, I feel annoyed that I’m complaining about this final exam. Almost ashamed. I mean here I am acting like this final is the biggest burden of my life while kids in places like Syria are living in daily fear that either them or one of their loved ones will be permanently silenced by the inferno of an explosion or the deadly penetration of a bullet. Innocent lives are lost everyday for no reason and all I can do is sit here and watch. It reminds me that I’m so privileged and blessed to be where I am, doing what I’m doing and to have such a strong support system in my life. Sometimes I wonder how and why I ended up with the life I currently have and not as a young man of Muslim faith desperately seeking refuge, or a child somewhere in an impoverished region of an African country living on pennies a day. Or as a young farmer born in the isolated North Korea. Or as the son of a wealthy billionaire in California. Or as one of those brutally murdered in the recent, atrocious Paris attacks. Only God knows. The most I can do is accept where I am and help to provide healing and peace to the world, something I still don’t know how to do on a large scale. Crazy things happen in this world every day and I’ve become numb to a lot of it, but this recent massacre in Paris has been weighing on my mind as of late. After hearing about it Friday afternoon, I first thanked God that my family in Paris and in France were safe. Then I actually fell into a mini-depression the rest of the day. I was left wishing there was something I could do to prevent things like that or the Syrian Civil War from happening, and I’m sure that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Why can’t some people just see each other as people? Why can’t they recognize that we are all the same in that we are different, and as human beings we are united? Why do we have to discriminate against and negatively stereotype each other in order to make ourselves feel better? Why do some of us insist on turning this magnificent planet into a terrible world? Hell, why can’t we all just get along? It’s highly frustrating to me that a concept as simple as love cannot be universally realized in this world; a world that has already been sprouted from the roots of greed, insecurity and pride. Of course, there is plenty of good happening in the world, but it usually gets overshadowed by the widespread evil coursing through a good portion of the people that inhabit this planet.

But I’m most likely preaching to the choir here. I’m just rambling my current thoughts. There is really no point in adding my two cents to the many issues that we are all presently facing right now. I’m just another guy with another opinion. Opinions by themselves don’t do a damn thing. Actions are what catalyze change. I don’t know if the world will ever be peaceful and equal. Human nature just won’t allow it. But we can continue to work to get as close to that goal as we can. It pains me that the most I can do is pray for the current state of the world, but if that’s all I can currently do, I’ll pray my heart out.

Y’all be blessed and have an incredible week!

– Black Man, M.D.