Lol, it's been a while since my last post.
Three months, two months, and six days, to be exact. That's 111 days.
ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN DAYS.
How in the world did I let 111 days go by without an update??
Spoiler alert, I've been working my butt off. 🙃
In the time between my last post in mid-February and now, I've worked nine inpatient weeks (most of which I was the only fellow covering both services…can't wait until we substantially cut back on doing this next year 🥹), twenty on-call nights, two inpatient weekends, and seven clinic half-days (dialysis, transplant and general nephrology). Of course all of my inpatient days were busy (don't get me started on my three-week stretch of inpatient weeks a.k.a. my longest inpatient stretch of the year [and perhaps of my fellowship training]…I got through it though, which is what matters 🙏🏿) because a chill shift doesn't appear to exist where I work. The clinic half-days can be busy too, but they are a reprieve in comparison to the constant grind of inpatient work. Some of the on-call nights were pretty rough, but the majority of them were okay (an “okay” night is about 4-5 hours of mostly interrupted sleep 🥴). Several of the kids I cared for had been sitting in the hospital for long periods of time, which can be disheartening not only for the patients and their families, but also for the care team doing whatever we can to get them closer to going home. Many of the kids I've cared for have indeed been able to go home after receiving care in the hospital, which has been satisfying. On the other hand, there have also been a few tragic patient losses throughout this time period that have been tough to cope with. It's never easy to come face-to-face with a patient death, especially when it's a kid whose care you've invested a lot of time, energy, and love into.
So as you can imagine, these past few months have left me feeling exhausted. I'm usually sleep-deprived and drained of energy by the end of each inpatient week, and want to do nothing but sleep and watch sports/movies/my favorite TV shows as I recover during my off time on the weekends. Of course I couldn't spend all my free time doing nothing because I still had a life to live outside of the clinical setting to keep me sane; more on that later. Although I kept wondering when I was going to write my next post, blogging was unfortunately not a priority as I kept myself on the move. Before I knew it, almost four months had passed since I wrote my last post and I balked at the thought of waiting any longer, so here we are.
As bleak as I've made work sound as of late, there certainly are some silver linings in all the madness. I've learned SO MUCH and have grown tremendously as a clinician, with many aspects of kidney care becoming almost second-nature to me at this point. I've ordered dialysis prescriptions more times than I can count. I've taken care of so many children with chronic kidney disease and have cared for a relatively large amount of transplant patients. Additionally, I performed the first kidney biopsy of my nephrology career and it went really well! I've given several high-yield lectures to my division, including a comprehensive hour-long lecture on lupus nephritis that received glowing reviews and that I'm particularly proud of. I've also become quite comfortable with many of the people I work with, with some of them now convinced that I live in the hospital because they see me so much week after week lol. I'd be remiss not to mention that I work with such excellent and caring people in my nephrology division, which makes the tough times bearable. And to round it all out, I've developed great, long-standing rapport with patients and families in both the inpatient and the outpatient settings, which has always made being a doctor worth it. 😌
With June now here, I only have five weeks left in my first year of fellowship!
This has put me in much better spirits than I had been prior to May when I was in the midst of my three-week stretch of inpatient work. It also helps that I'm coming off of a research week and that I spent the first half of May having a ton of fun both in the Caribbean (St. Maarten & St. Barts) for a super fun and spectacular destination wedding, and back in Chapel Hill celebrating my wife's graduation from her PhD program after she successfully defended her dissertation! 😄
I have two inpatient weeks and two inpatient weekends left to work (including 4th of July weekend 😭) before I transition into my second year of fellowship, where I'll only have ten weeks of inpatient service to work all year! I'll have a lot more time to build upon my outpatient nephrology skills, to focus on my fellowship research project, and to pursue other passion projects like implementing social determinants of health (SDOH) screenings and voter registration processes in our clinical settings, the latter of which I finally got going in our chronic kidney disease and transplant clinics this past week! I'll also have more time to build upon my skills in the advocacy realm by learning how to better address SDOH and influence policy through Emory's Health Equity, Advocacy, and Policy (HEAP) track, to get more involved in professional medical organizations to continue expanding my network (missing SNMA's AMEC this year among other conferences gave me serious FOMO), to fully engage in teaching opportunities to medical students and residents, to continue building upon The Desire to Inspire Scholarship, to explore Atlanta more, and to spend more quality time with family and friends.
In essence, I'm just excited to get my life back!
Although I've learned so much this past year and I know I've become a better nephrologist-in-training, I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm feeling a little anxious about being an upper-level fellow. Sure, I know that once the new fellows come in I'll realize just how much I've truly grown. That being said, I just feel like I have so much more to learn and I'm not 100% sure I'm truly at the point where I can comfortably say that I'm upper-level material just yet. I still make plenty of mistakes, there are clinical situations that catch me off-guard, and if the in-training “board” exam I took several months ago was any indication of my knowledge in pediatric nephrology, I still have a long way to go before I can actually become board-certified for this sub-specialty. Maybe I'm being harder on myself than I need to be, but it's just how I feel. Don't worry though, I'm not keeping myself a minute longer in my first year than necessary; I'll happily figure out what I need to figure out when I'm a second-year fellow 😂.
I mentioned earlier that I did my best to still live my life outside of the clinical setting these past few months even though my job was trying to hold me hostage. With the arrival of spring and additional sunlight thanks to daylight savings, I often found myself outside enjoying the warmer weather while spending time with my wife and our friends. Between brunches, dinner dates, visiting attractions around us like the Chateau Elan winery, and walking the Atlanta beltline, I've been able to decompress and appreciate the city I'm living in. I also got to spend time with many of my fraternity brothers one weekend in March when we surprised one of my line brothers for his birthday here in Atlanta! We spent the weekend doing a bunch of fun activities together; it really felt like we were all in college again just kickin' it.
I got invited to hear Omari Hardwick speak at a leadership luncheon hosted by the United Way of Greater Atlanta at the Delta Flight Museum, which was pretty random but cool at the same time.
I also got invited to a UMiami alumni event in Atlanta (Pancakes With Pat) where I spent some time with faculty members I hadn't seen in years and met other alumni of the University of Miami. I'm always down to go to an event that brings the ‘Canes community together. And speaking of my alma mater, I got featured in the UMiami alumni newsletter in April! Shoutout to them for always showing me love! 🙌🏿
As for sports, I definitely made time to watch both the men's and women's March Madness tournaments and while they were not as insane as last year's tournaments were, they were still very entertaining to watch! My brackets didn't win me any money this year, but that's what next year is for 🙃. My division participated in the American Journal of Kidney Diseases' annual #NephMadness competition as well, which was educational and fun to engage in. The NFL draft and off-season trades got me excited about what's to come next season. I want to be excited about college football but Miami has disappointed me so many times I can't even bring myself to hold out hope for a great season…we'll just see what we're looking like when it comes time to play some games. I'm currently locked into the NBA playoffs, which have been a thrill to watch!
And with summer coming up fast, we have the 2024 Paris Olympics to look forward too! I love it! 🤩
Looks like it's time to bring this post to an end!
Thanks for reading and I hope to be back with another post sooner than 111 days from now! 😅
“It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.” – Lena Horne
– Black Man, M.D.
P.S. – The application period for The 2024 Desire To Inspire Scholarship is ending on Sunday, June 9th! Better tell those kids to get those applications in if they want some free money!